The right time will never come. We wait and wait for this “right” time to have a baby or go for that new job or embark on new and scary adventures, to realize that this time we wait for rarely ever happens. There is always something holding us back, be it money, relationships, ourselves, or fear. All of these “obstacles” stifle our growth process and don't allow us to blossom into the person that we are meant to be. It's okay to fall on our face, it's okay to fail. With out failure we wouldn't be open to trying new things; if we never try something new how do you know that we won't soar to unprecedented success? Failure, has such a negative connotation when in reality with out it we never figure out what we are truly good at.
Growing up I was always led to believe from my elders and from society, that we must get up every morning brush our teeth, go to school and get an education. We get this education to maybe one day get a job that will pay our bills and allow us to live comfortably. We get this job, work day in and day out to become a loyal “slave” for a company that usually has no loyalty to us. We do this all in hopes that we can appear to be successful and like we have our shit together. We work this 9-5 usually hating every minute of it because that's what “we are supposed to do”. We break our backs (figuratively speaking) for years so that one day in our old age, we can possibly retire. And if we get to fully retire, we pray that we are not too old and sick by this point to enjoy what they call life. We don't even realize that our lack of living and the miserable state that comes along with this is affecting everything and everyone around us because we have been conditioned to think that this is what is expected. To those who truly follow their dreams and are happy where they are at, I commend you and YOU have inspired me to be great, but let's be honest how many of us really take that chance? So many of us just go through the motions of everyday. We get up, follow the same set cycle day in and day out; not loving our lives fully. This is not success, this is not living, it's called insanity.
Not me, not no more. I woke up one morning and said enough is enough. I was tired of getting up every day going to a job that I didn't hate but that I was not happy with. I was tired of doing what somebody else told me I had to do to be “normal”. I was tired of doing something I did not absolutely love to do. So I asked myself “what is it that you want to do Amanda?” I had no clue. Coming to a realization that you had been running in this hamster wheel for so long chasing this fabricated dream that when you finally stop to catch your breath you can no longer even walk properly, hits you like a brick and you stop and ask WTF am I doing? Who am I? Where has my light gone? With all these questions running through my head and me second guessing what I am accomplishing in a whole, I decided I need a change. What I knew yesterday no longer applies to today and what I will learn tomorrow will no longer apply to yesterday. I am at a transitioning point in my life and I want something BIG. I want something monumental, something that would change the person I see in front of the mirror every morning. It was time to get lost, literally. I want to accomplish what I consider freedom; if even for just a split second in time. I want to let go of the conventional notions that are laid out for us in black and white. I want to stop saying I'm different and actually be different. I read a quote once that said “sometimes we must get lost in order to find ourselves” and I took that literally and said FUCK IT, I'm going to travel the world. I am going to escape this fish bowl I live in, make my way to the ocean and explore like the mermaid that I am. It may be the Pisces in me, but I have always had this hunger. This hunger for something greater than myself. This hunger for knowledge, for enlightenment, for passion and romance. I have always been in-love with cities I have never been too; I am tired of this constant daydream and I'm ready to live it. I am writing a new chapter in my book and I know the best has yet to come. I am excited, scared, anxious, overjoyed, impressed and weirdly calm about this whole experience I am about to take on. Deciding to backpack across Europe at 28 years old is huge. I quit my job, liquefied my savings and I'm saying que sera, sera. I am ready to be even more amazing than I am today, I am ready to have amazing stories. At this point in my life I have nothing holding me back; I have the support of my family, friends and myself to take on a new frontier and get crazy.
I started the blog for two main reasons, because I want my family, friends, and secretly the world to know what I am doing at all times (social media syndrome) and I want to immortalize this huge feat. I want to be able to document my feelings, my adventure and my hunger so that when future Manda is questioning her purpose or life in general (cause it will happen time to time) she can sit back and relive this moment in her life over and over. No matter whats life throws at me I will remember what great things I have accomplished and I will never loose that feeling. That feeling of true freedom.